My body may well be a temple to chocolate free living

... but no one said I couldn't clutter it up with a dash of caffeine here and there.

There has been much joy in the Housewife household over the past twenty-four hours and much of it I've had to tone down thanks to the migraine that has been brooding over me since Friday but as I have finally seen off today, my joy is now unrestrained! What can have led to this joyous exuberation? Well may you ask. And I shall tell you. Are you sitting comfortable? Then I'll begin.

Once upon a time in a kingdom far far away there lived a girl who adored coffee. The land in which she lived was indeed a blessed land for it housed not only the desirable establishment of Costa's

but the place gave us the Chocolate Mint Bliss and Skinny Blueberry Muffins, Starbucks!

What more could our heroine want? Indeed, for many days she was content to flit from one establishment to the other depending on whether she wanted to drink from a mug or from a cup. But, this happy state of affairs soon began to weary her. The comfy sofas seemed less comfy. The cluttered tables overflowing with detritus became an irritation. Worst of all, the proprietors of these establishments would insist on payment.

So the girl began to explore alternatives. She sought here and there. She sought long and hard. And eventually she discovered that most miraculous of all shopping establishments John Lewis Online. How happy she was as she browsed through the linen departments admiring the crisp white table linen ('how lovely, mine is all blue,' she sighed), and the fluffy green towels (but that belongs to another story involving Tilly and the Home Highlighting Kit ...!). On and on, she perused until she happened upon the halls of Electrical Appliances. Could it be, could it really be that coffee perfection was possible in the comfort of her home? But oh dear, this establishment insisted on payment too! She offered them her shells and her shiny buttons but these were turned away. Sadly, she left the web pages only popping back now and then to sigh and dream.

But all was not lost for our heroine. It came to pass that the festive season of giving was upon her and lo, she discovered her hitherto unimaginative relatives had scored a blinder. Instead of vouchers for the worthy but less than exciting M&S, this was the year of the cheque. At last, at last her dreams could come true. One click on the web page and and the new fangled miracle of technology was winging its way to her home.

She waited in eager anticipation. Each morning she would rise thinking 'Could today be the day?' Each night she would retire thinking 'Perhaps tomorrow ...?' Finally the day came when there was a knock at the door and a large and cumbersome package was delivered:

'Whatever can it be?' she cried, not stopping to read the clues stamped all over the packaging. She ripped open the plastic to reveal, not her new coffee machine but piles of coffee to go in it:

'Bother!' she thought for the briefest of moments, but being the sort of girl who likes to collect shells and shiny buttons she was soon spending happy hours arranging the coffee capsules into colour co-ordinated rows. Engaged thus, she soon forgot the time and also forgot to watch out for any other deliveries. So it was with some surprise that once again the door bell rang and yet another large and cumbersome package arrived:

Now, almost besides herself with excitement she tore the packaging off and marvelled at the contents. It was here. At last, it was here:

Because the wicked migraine fairy had been attempting to dampen her enthusiasm, our heroine was unable to do more than admire her lovely new coffee machine. But thanks to the miracle of modern pharmacology, she did not have to wait long before the coffee magic could begin. As promised, there followed a veritable cornucopia of coffee perfection:

At last her life was complete. Never would she want anything again. And of course it only remains to say that she lived happily ever after.